I don't really want to talk about how much I weigh.
I stopped purging again. I can't do it. I tested the waters for a while to see if I could get away with doing it without ruining my voice. I always knew the answer to that one. For a while it didn't seem to matter, but it does and it did.
One of my friends just finished a masters in Vocal Performance with a full ride, and now she is going to be an Opera Colorado Young Artist. This combined with some pseudo positive things that came from a competition I was in, have kicked me into high gear again. I hope. I want to sing. Soooo much. What will it take? I know I can make it. I KNOW I can. I was born for this. And I was also born not to be fat. Its hard to juggle everything. I'm tired. I'm homesick. But I can do this.
Maybe I'll start posting again. I dunno. I struggle inside myself with everything. I think its part of life. But sometimes I drive myself crazy. I might need an outlet again?
I just want to be happy.