I'm back...
I don't really want to talk about how much I weigh.
I stopped purging again. I can't do it. I tested the waters for a while to see if I could get away with doing it without ruining my voice. I always knew the answer to that one. For a while it didn't seem to matter, but it does and it did.
One of my friends just finished a masters in Vocal Performance with a full ride, and now she is going to be an Opera Colorado Young Artist. This combined with some pseudo positive things that came from a competition I was in, have kicked me into high gear again. I hope. I want to sing. Soooo much. What will it take? I know I can make it. I KNOW I can. I was born for this. And I was also born not to be fat. Its hard to juggle everything. I'm tired. I'm homesick. But I can do this.
Maybe I'll start posting again. I dunno. I struggle inside myself with everything. I think its part of life. But sometimes I drive myself crazy. I might need an outlet again?
I just want to be happy.
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I reinvited you. It's good to hear from you.
ReplyDeletexo
Welcome back :)
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel. I want to be happy, too. :[
ReplyDeletePurging has started ruining my voice as well. I'll never be on Broadway with a shit voice.
We'll get there, where we want to be. We will
<3
Hey, trust me, you are beautiful the way you are. Please don't beat yourself up, and Please, don't starve yourself, it really isn't worth it.
ReplyDeleteHaving what you consider to be a 'better body' won't give you happiness, I'm afraid. The only road to that is through your approach on life, your attitude, and only you can give that to yourself.
I believe in you, and I wish you luck in your singing career.
If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to message me. (You can click on my name to reach my blog)