Some serious self loathing going on. If you only knew how bad its gotten in the time I've been away, and how much better it HASN'T since I've been back.
I'm sad. But I will find something nice to wear tomorrow and try again for another day...
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Go to the gym or for a run. And smile, because there are lots of people who are glad you're around
ReplyDeletemaybe make a list of things you like about yourself? or that other people have told you they like about you?
ReplyDeletepost it here or just keep it in a notebook, add to it when you have a good day, and then watch as the good things outnumber the things you don't like...
unless you're a sociopathic serial killer, the good things WILL outweigh the rest, and that alone is reason to keep trying.
I've been worried about you, you know...coz you talk about your intake as though eating as few calories per day as you can is 'good' and eating a normal/low amount is 'bad.' That kind of black and white thinking is super harsh and leaves no room for breathing.
A little while back you said, "My plan is to try and deal with my weight without going crazy and hating myself."
Seems like you're hating yourself/going crazy, eh? Please, don't take yourself apart piece by piece just to lose weight. It's harder to put yourself back together again afterwards.
xo