Weight Loss to Date

Friday, July 2, 2010

I am terrified by my own inability to stop eating. Really, really, really terrified.

These are the things I have in my fridge to eat as sort of safe foods:
broccoli, both fresh and frozen. Lots of it!
60 cal yogurt
lots of smoothie stuff
coffee stuff
I have some 100 cal popcorn that I accidentally left at friend's house
muscle milk
A couple of 200 cal frozen dinners
light cool whip

That's basically it, I think. I don't plan to buy anymore food in the two weeks til I move.

Why can't I stop eating?

Don't I understand my life is over if I am fat?

I mentioned I purged last week... and the week before that. In my head I think that if I only purge once a week I'll be ok, but I think I can already tell that I am causing my vocal chords damage and that I MUST stop.

I'm scaring myself. I cant CONTROL. I need to CONTROL myself.

Terrified of being fat. Oh wait. I am. I have to fix that. I should be losing, not gaining.

Please help me.

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