I've been eating and eating and eating. Kind of inevitable with the slew of goodbye dinners and hangout times and... long roadtrips with the parents. I'm a massive cow. And my parents will be in town for several days after this...
I'm trying to decide if I should just give in for my sanity or resist and try to avoid food as much as possible. I'm getting massive. I can see the difference in the mirror. I miss running. I feel hungry. I've only eaten snacks and carbs and fast food because that's all that's been available.
I want to starve into oblivion. I keep hoping optimistically that my new life living alone will allow for this, but I know I have to stay physically and mentally strong for grad school and teaching. Can I do this?
I'm afraid of fat. I'm SO fat. It makes me sad. I so desperately want to be beautiful.