I've been eating and eating and eating. Kind of inevitable with the slew of goodbye dinners and hangout times and... long roadtrips with the parents. I'm a massive cow. And my parents will be in town for several days after this...
I'm trying to decide if I should just give in for my sanity or resist and try to avoid food as much as possible. I'm getting massive. I can see the difference in the mirror. I miss running. I feel hungry. I've only eaten snacks and carbs and fast food because that's all that's been available.
I want to starve into oblivion. I keep hoping optimistically that my new life living alone will allow for this, but I know I have to stay physically and mentally strong for grad school and teaching. Can I do this?
I'm afraid of fat. I'm SO fat. It makes me sad. I so desperately want to be beautiful.
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I think you're beautiful, and I know you can reach your goal weights! Be strong. xoxo
ReplyDeleteConsider it a vacation from counting calories or avoiding food. When your parents have gone, take stock of your goals and your plan of action and then implement accordingly.
ReplyDeleteDon't get down on yourself when you're transitioning to a whole new life! Beginnings are a fragile and delicate time...accept the food you've been eating as transition food. Adventure food?
In other words, not reflective of your real, long term diet. The food you're eating right now is a fluke. You will be fine so long as you maintain your positive course once you set it in place. :)
When you get a local phone number, maybe we can exchange numbers? Or is that a weirdo internet pervy type request? lol
At any rate, I'm glad you've got here and hope you'll be settled soon. <3
hang in!!! lets work out a lot this week :)
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