I wish I wish I wish I wish I could purge.
I am a bulimic at heart. So much. You don't even know.
And even just a little bit of purging screws up my voice. I have to sing a solo at church sunday. And somewhere inside me I still want to be an opera singer... even though I'm crazy for it. My brain can't seem to comprehend that I can't be fat if I'm going to do that.
I hate eating. I hate food. And yet I eat. I don't even eat a lot. But I gain.
I don't know what to do.
Kazehana, thanks for your comment... it was really helpful. Glad to know someone else relates to my feeling of wanting to eat to keep the metabolism going. Its so much easier just to not eat. Seriously so so so much easier :(
As far as that whole 'love your body and it will love you back' thing... I dunno. Please convince me that will work, because I want to believe you.