Okay girls, I'm trying to do better about keeping you updated and read and comment.
Just for the record, my scale is kind of unreliable, and it gives me anything within a two lb. range. So I keep the high and low number in my head for a reference.
Today I weighed between 158 and 155.6. That's the first time I've seen 155, so I guess its sort of progress. Mostly I got 157.2 pretty consistently. I hope that's not too confusing.
My weight is creeping down, and going to bed hungry is always a good sign for me. Which I am right now. I want to eat eat eat right now though. I have seriously thought about going out and getting food. I'm craving meat. I think because I haven't had it in a few days. I've been trying to stick to only salads, yogurt and fruit. I did have a couple tiny bites of my friend's roast beef today...
I have been eating more than I want to though :( Its a hard balance. If I stay away from food completely, I can usually go a couple days without eating successfully. But my metabolism halts really fast from that. I usually try to eat in the morning to get my metab. going, but then sometimes I have stomach problems and have to eat a little something (I have a problem where the lining of my stomach gets inflamed). I try to eat salad with some croutons to soak up the stomach acid-- its what causes the inflammation-- but sometimes I go a little overboard. More than I want anyways. And always... it seems like eating breeds more desire for eating.
I would rather starve starve starve, but my body will refuse to lose and just halt on me. I know that sounds impossible to some of you, but its true. I lose best when I eat in the morning and suffer through the hunger all day, but that is really difficult (partly because of the inflammation issue). I guess its good that I'm eating lightly, at least, instead of being a pig. I just want to see freaking lower numbers, you know?? Its taking so freaking long.
I want to lose. Why does it have to be this stupidly complicated mathematical equation for me?!?! It should just be starve+exercise=lose weight, but its so much more complicated for me to actually see results. At least slow loss is better than gaining... Ugh.
As far as the running, I think I'll be able to tomorrow again. Yesterday I took a walk with my friend, but no running, and today I spent time with her. She's moving to Chicago on Tuesday and I won't see her again, maybe for years, so if it means losing a couple days of running, maybe that's just what I have to do. I'm trying to keep a balance, but she is a really close friend. I have to work all day tomorrow though, so after work I can run run run! I'm really proud that I have been getting my distances longer :)
Thank you girls for your sweetness and support. I like having you here. I know we can do this, no matter how long it takes!