I just hate my body. Doesn't matter how much I starve! I can just never get below 155. Nothing works. But today I did good. I started the day at 157, a lb higher than last night--don't know why. But by this eve I was 155.0. Today I have had a couple starburst, an entire cucumber and salad dressing, and lots of coffee and tea. Now I'm having a beer because I can't sleep and I need to relax. At one point tonight I saw 154.8 but I don't trust it and later I weighed and got higher weights that were all within the 154-155.8 range. My scale sucks. So when I am at the lower end of 154 I will be more likely to believe it!

I figure a beer cant hurt me... its either that or eat or drink a glass of milk. You know that feeling when you've been restricting or fasting so long (or in my case puking everything up before I can digest it for some "meals") that you just feel high? Part of it is probably lack of sleep and too much caffeine working together. I'm gonna be fine. One light beer on an empty stomach can do wonders for relaxation.

Tomorrow.... the goal is to see 154 or even 153. Can't stop. And can't believe that I'm actually managing this during finals week. One good thing is instead of wasting lunch time in the teacher's lounge, I get shit done in my classroom. Or at least get the much needed downtime I need between classes. Go me!!!!