Just not good enough. Just too fat. Being fat cancels out like everything else that's good about me. And if it weren't for that I think I would like myself a lot, most of the time. I feel so inadequate. So out of control. Never enough time. Always too much food. Never enough running. Never good enough. Never quite meeting the standard.
I get depressed when I think this way. But I just can't... I know I can be everything I wanna be... I just have to find it in myself. Doesn't help that I'm sleeping weird hours and on my period. I'm starting to get anxious about going back to work :(
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I agree-- I think I'm great, but my weight just gets in the way of everything. I hate it. I wish I could look past it.
ReplyDeleteoh no! Girl don't get down on yourself. I know how you feel-- I have severe depressive disorder because of my Ednos (a whole week in a psych unit to be able to admit that!) and I get SO MUCH worse when I'm left to my own devices. :( These last few days have been pure torture, but your comment on my blog really brightened my day! I LOVE YOU AND YOU KEEP YOUR CHIN UP GIRL :)
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