I have a few amazing days followed by a few days of being pathetic. This is my cycle.
I have eaten crap for two days in a row. Today would have been okay, but I drank and got tipsy, which made me a little sick to my stomach, which made me want to eat and eat.
Yesterday was horrible, but the good news is that I got an acceptance letter to the Music Ed program at Colorado. Not my first choice... my first choice was performance, but my plan is to go and reaudition so that I can do both programs. Kinda scary, but YAY! at the same time. Thus, celebratory eating. Stupid choice.
Tonight I tried my first variety of smoking anything. I had a few puffs of my friend's black and mild. I've never smoked anything EVER. I crossed a new threshold. I sing, so I probably shouldn't do it much, but it was kind of fun to do something new...
I have a vocal competition in a week and a half. Thus a lot of losing weight should be in order, because I need to look good and believable in the role of an aria I'm singing. I'm such a fatass right now. I have to eat lunch with a friend tomorrow, but I WILL do better. And I'll workout, too.
Ugh. I CAN do this. I just have to focus on what matters most to me.