So I just weighed, at bedtime, and I am 169.4. If I figure like Sottile does, I should weigh 168.4 or even 168.0 when I get up? The problem is, I have to drink plenty of water before bed so that I don't dehydrate so that I can practice for the next day. Because as a singer, water is great, but you need to drink plenty the day before whatever your performance/event is so that your body can have time to absorb and distribute. Or something like that.

Anyways, I'm afraid the water will mess it up... But whatever. Hopefully not, because I'll pee it all out before I weigh, right?

My ana buddy today was telling me I need to try and love myself into succeeding at losing. It kind of makes sense in a way... the more you hate yourself, the less motivated you feel sometimes, the more you fuck up. At least that's the way it is for me. My reason for doing this (much different than most of yours) is so I can succeed in my life-- no one likes a fat opera singer. Even opera singers have to be beautiful nowadays. And of course that whole factor of my Dad loves me more when I'm thin. I am 23 but I feel like such a little girl always trying to earn his approval.

Whatever. I want to be an opera singer more than ANYTHING. And I will be a beautiful one. I have a vocal competition next friday. My goal is to be 163 by then. Can I do it? If I wake up at 168, I will have 7 days to lose 5 lbs. Help me girls... please help me be focused to do this! I have to look good at this competition. I've worked so so hard for it.