I'm out of my head with exhaustion for lack of food.
Last night I binged, but not because I was painfully hungry. My energy was so low and I felt so so horrible that I just had to eat. I'm scared... The lack of food has been taking its toll on my body and I'm so so exhausted that its hard to accomplish anything to my fullest capacity...no pun intended.
I want to starve myself away... I NEED to lose weight. But in order for me to get through this weekend and into next week with success, it doesn't look like I'll be eating much. I better do well at this stupid competition and my elementary Easter play that I'm leading better go well. Otherwise I have wasted what feels like millions of calories for nothing.
I just want to starve into oblivion. I want to be thin. But I also want to succeed at the things I do in life. Why can't I have it all?
I'm so so sooooo tired.