I am swimming in other peoples blogs, reading them so much over the past couple days that I feel I am not really living my own life, but just playing out someone else's on a screen before me. For hours and hours.

I know I am losing weight. My belly is shrinking, my arms look smaller. I am afraid they only do because I want them to. I wish i could weigh so I could just know. Its kind of weird. I think some of my clothes are looser, but its really hard to tell because they were probably technically too tight before. Very strange.

Today I ate: an apple, a banana, had the 2.5 cups of coffee with milk (which was really more like a cup plus a tiny bit of milk), a little chocolate liquer thing worth 70 cals (ouch!), and a small cracker equivalent to a wheat thin. And I'm not that hungry. Its surreal...

I wish I could weigh. Then I could just know. But I think not weighing is really helping me. And the fact that nobody questions when I don't want to eat... well, not really. And the fact that everyone really wants me to lose weight. I want to weigh 100 lbs. Jenna weighs 106 and she's 4'9.5''. In her pic she probably weighed about 110? And I would like to be a little thinner. Combine with the fact that I'm at least an inch taller than she is and I want to weigh less... Why am I even talking about this?? Its all just a faint dream right now. Must get into the 160s.... Can I do it before Colorado???

I'm fearing that after I've built this all up, I will weigh wayyyy too much more than I think by the time I get home... Ugh. We'll see. Its on to walking 5 miles a day and barely any food for me! Maybe I can go another day getting away with barely anything... 300 cals would be amaaaaazing...