Weight Loss to Date

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Today I had somewhere in the range of 300-350 cals. That may be a little generous, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. I burned around 700ish? Walked 2 miles for an hour this morning with the fam, and then I went by myself for an hour and a half this eve. I "sprinted" several times... I tried really hard. Obviously more like jogging.

This morning I had 2ish cups of coffee which amounted to a full cup of 2 percent. Then I had 2 whole pieces of toast w/ immodium because my stomach was sooo upset. My Dad had something yesterday, but it may have been all that coffee on little sleep and an empty stomach... Don't know. Then for lunch we ate arroz con pollo at my grandparents and I literally just barely nibbled. Maybe 50 cals at best. I got to sample gin and brandy, just to know what they taste like. I got zonked off one martini the other night because I just don't have enough food in me to absorb anything these days, so I thought it better to avoid...

Didn't have any dinner at all. I had a diet coke at lunch and it gave me the jitters, so I took a Vitamin B along with it to have energy for my walk.

I. am. so. hungry. My hunger pains are so uncomfortably bad. I've been pretty nauseous today. I am feeling like I'm not losing and I'm scared. If I didn't lose a considerable amount of weight after all this pain, I swear to God I don't know what I will do. Maybe I am just bloated????? I still look terrible. I don't know what to do. Then again, maybe I won't start to look good to myself until I've lost like 40 lbs. I'm pretty huge. A fat ass. HUGE. I mean, I needed to lose 25 lbs to be what "huge" was to me before. Ugggghhh.

I can do this. I am the most determined girl ever. Seriously.

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