Fat ass.

I feel like one. I ate so much crap tonight and I don't even know how it happened. I had a little teeny tiny sliver of pizza early in the day, but I wasn't real distraught. I was staaaaaaaaarrrrving this evening when I went to get coffee with a friend, so I had a peppermint mocha with full sugar, but my blood sugar was lowering, so I thought that was ok. I was still doing well with the not eating thing, and then I went to a friend's house where I was offered chocolate cake and later puppy chow. I tried to eat just a little sliver of cake-- one or two bites would have been fine... but I ended up with a little more than I bargained for and couldn't say no.

Well, later, the puppy chow. It was soooo good, and I was getting nauseous from the sugar, but I couldn't stop. And then they sent some home with me. Grr.

I found my bell peppers that I bought. I need to cut them up so that I can eat them for lunch tomorrow. I am getting constipated, and that's annoying too. Its from way too much caffeine and not enough sleep. The only freaking way I stayed awake this week was because the leptopril is so so strong, but it screwed me on my voice. It is so strong that you have to constantly drink water or its over.

I am so frustrated because I only lost 2 lbs. this week. I guess its because I didn't sleep and my metabolism freaking stopped. My father is going to be so disgusted with me when he sees me. I am not sure what to do. I was gonna do a cleanse and I didn't even do that. I forgot because I was so tired... And then everything that happened today. Although I did have a good day with sleeping and then hanging out. I have got to start sleeping in order to lose weight. I know that I have to. I don't see how its possible to accomplish everything I need to in my life.

I feel like such a sad, sad failure in everything. I should not be feeling like this with graduation looming next week, but nothing makes sense.