The saddest part about this whole thing is that my Dad can't bring me into a room and say, "this is my daughter, isn't she beautiful?" No, instead he gets the fatso. I can do EVERYTHING else in the world, but I am a fatso, and so I am embarrassing. It doesn't matter how talented i am. The world doesn't care what you have if you don't have a pretty package to put it in. Don't worry Dad. By this summer I won't be such a disgusting disappointment if you have me back...

I am so so hungry that I'm getting that heartburnish knot I get when my stomach is utterly empty. But I wouldn't mess up my 200 calorie day for the world. No way no how.

God, I hope I have lost weight when I get to weigh at home. I will hate myself if I didn't. I might have to start cutting or something (I probably never could bring myself to, actually). But I just don't know what to do if the weight doesn't start coming off. I'm getting weary of no results. I think traveling day would be a GREAT fasting day... Liquids/ coffee only? And even then I need to monitor my caloric intake of liquids. I'm only allowing them because I wouldn't wanna pass out or anything.

Yay for my first day of fasting. I'm gonna have to start this ABC thing everyone else does when I get home, because apparently you can lose a lb a day. That would be amazing. Man, if I lost the 15 I'm hoping I have (total) plus around 20 lbs. on ABC, I'd be...160, i guess. Good enough... better than I've been in a loooong time!

Here's to being less fat!