Welp, cast party is over. Ate like a pig. Made sure to eat desert because I knew I wouldn't get it again. I don't wanna think about what I may have gained. And its over. Back to fasting. Back to not eating. Its great. I just wanna lose.

I don't know how much more suspense I can deal with about waiting for grad schools. Writing about it and telling people and complaining and crying do nothing to help the next couple weeks get here faster. But I may get on here throughout the night... or even the next couple days and gripe some more. It gives me something to do. And makes me feel better, although miniscule.

I feel so fat. But I'm done eating. Yay for tomorrow! The plan is cranberries, juice or popcorn if I get desperate. I'm gonna try to keep it all liquids... 3 days. Can I do it?? I just want to drop weight. So so so so so bad.

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I was gonna spew this whole vicious post... but I'm not. I'm just gonna go to bed instead because that is at least half my problem. Horrible mood. Need to just let it go. I will be fine soon, when I figure out about schools. I'm just on edge right now....