Dear Lovies,

I'm BACK!! I weighed this morning on my friend's mother's scale before I left, and it seems I haven't really gained since Friday, which is funny because I've been eating normally since then. Today I ate ALOT. But I'm not thinking about it. Tomorrow I go back to hardcore restriction and running running running like there is no tomorrow. And I'm looking forward to it. Tonight I'm very tired from driving all day!

Lunch with my friend on Friday (the one I was freaking about) went well. I felt pretty, but upon inspection of a couple pictures, looked fat. Oh well, what can I do? Just keep working at it. I really think my metabolism had gotten really complacent and not running/eating for several days will kick it back into high gear I hope. I don't really know what else to do... So now the eating is done again. I'm looking forward to being skinny, and I WILL BE SKINNY! Mark my words. Even if it takes me longer than I'd like. My bff in Ohio raved about how thin I was looking, and her mom said something about it too... but they haven't seen skinny outta me yet!

Back to my friend from Friday's lunch, I know I had mentioned before that he was my counselor awhile back. He is someone I am so so fond of. He kept telling me how proud he was of me, and I think he is so sweet for that. I really have strange feelings for him, because I'm not in love with him, and yet I wish I could be closer to him without it being so improper. Does that make sense? Its hard. I have been emailing back and forth with him in the two years since he stopped being my counselor, but now I know its time to take a step back. I will email him once every few months, but I need to let it go. He has been so dear and precious to me, and I'm not letting the relationship go completely, but I am letting it breathe and letting more time go in between contact. Its just sad... I wish he was my Dad or something. He's so sweet and wonderful.

So many chapters in my life are closing. I am really scared about moving to Colorado, but hopeful that something wonderful is gonna happen. It just has to. The fat chapter of my life is closing, too. I'm gonna be skinny! I am. I'm sorry I've been sucking at keeping you guys updated this week and last week. Food abounded, and so did busyness. But maybe now I can get back on track.

Love you all!