Weight Loss to Date

Saturday, April 24, 2010

So today I had some screw ups, but considering how I've been doing, it wasn't a fail. The important thing, I always feel, is that I go to bed hungry. I didn't get to run because the weather is very very bad right now. The blessed moment I go out there it will start to rain. Just my luck. So I guess no running tonight :(

I had a moment tonight at work, after scarfing down a salad, where I decided that I was a greedy fat kid and that I didn't deserve to eat. Its true. I want to fast because when I start eating I just screw it all up. If I never start, its a lot easier. But I'm always so afraid of making my metabolism slow. So sooo afraid of that. Because basically, it works for me to only eat right before I exercise. Mentally that works. But that's how I got myself locked into the same weight for a week without a budge.

I need a fresh start. I'm gonna go weigh myself and see the moment of truth.

166.4. It doesn't really count because its night and I've eaten today, but that gives you an idea that I've gained at least some. My weigh was holding pretty steady at 163.8 for that one week, and then I already told you what it was the other day.

The new plan is to get into the 150's asap. I anticipate that I'll wake up 165 tomorrow morning. When I first started I was working out first thing in the morning and only eating about 300-400 cals a day. Walking in the morning was really, really good for me. That's what I need to start doing. It was working. I know I can do this.

I am a greedy fat kid who doesn't deserve to eat. And I know I can be amazing, I just have to starve the fat kid. I will do this!


  1. I'm sorry, but when I read the line "I am a greedy fat kid who doesn't deserve to eat", I only saw one picture: an extremely obese person stuffing her face in front of the starved kids you see on posters. And you are NOT that. Eating a salad is not being greedy, Z!

    Either way, it sounds like you've got a plan, and I'll be following you through it! Luck!

  2. once i start eating, its infinitely more difficult to stop than it would have been to never start. have you tried liquid fasting? i drink soymilk and protein shakes so it keeps my blood sugar from crashing (and inducing an unavoidable binge), and i'm able to not think of it as food and avoid all cravings. AND protein helps you build muscle, and muscle burns mega calories even when it's not working.

    you can do it z! i'm beginning to check this thing more times a day than i'd like to admit, so i'm here if you need support!

  3. A salad is on the lower end of the spectrum of the worse you can do. Tomorrow's a new day, so start over then. I am in your boat. I ate on about 3 pounds this weekend. Gross.